popp thread

[Guest]

got the idea from other website

[Guest]

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: THE UBER AWESOME THE UBER AWESOME BOBBOB0100 shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Occultism Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.

And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

[Guest]

1. GHOST poop. You know you've shitted.
There's poop on the toilet paper, but none
in the toilet.

2. TEFLON-COATED poop. Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you
don't even feel it. No trace of poop on the
paper. You have to look in the toilet to make
sure you did something.

3. GOOEY-poop. This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe
your arse 12 times and it's still not clean.
You end up putting toilet paper in your jocks
so that you don't stain them. This kind of poop
leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

4. SECOND THOUGHT poop. You're all done wiping, and you're about to
stand up when you realise....you've got more.

5. POP A VEIN IN YOUR The kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't
FOREHEAD poop. come out till you're all sweaty, trembling and
purple from straining so hard.

6. WEIGHT WATCHERS You poop so much, you lose several kilos.
poop.

7. RIGHT NOW poop. You had better be within 30 seconds of a toilet.
You burn rubber getting to the toilet. Usually
it has its head out before you can get your
pants down.

8. KING KONG or This one is so big that you know it won't go
CHOKER poop. down the toilet unless you break it into smaller
chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind
of poop usually occurs at someone else's house.

9. CORK poop Even after the third flush it's still floating in
(also Floater) the bowl. You think "SHIT" how do I get rid of it.

10. WET CHEEKS poop. This poop hits the water sideways and makes a big
splash that gets you all wet.

11. WISH poop. You sit there all cramped up in the foetal position
and fart a few times, but no poop in sight.

12. CEMENT BLOCK poop. You wish you had a spinal anaesthetic before you
attempted this one.

13. SNAKE poop. This poop is fairly soft and about as thick as your
thumb, and at least a metre long.

14. BEER AND PIZZA This happens the day after the night before. Most
poop. of the time your poop doesn't smell so bad but this
one is BAD....usually this one happens at someone
else's house, and someone is always waiting outside
the toilet door.

15. MEXICAN FOOD poop. You know will know it's safe to eat again when your
(or Screamer) arse stops burning.

[Guest]

fuckng LOL

[Guest]

you stole everything thing from nicks post...
usually you say: "thx to mr.Nick for these great jokes"

[Guest]

ok, thanks to MR.nick, Happy?

[Guest]

i guess... i was just warning you for the future because some people get pissed

[Guest]

ok